H is for Hell and Heaven
by DreamBrother
Summary: Summer Alphabet Challenge 2007. A lazy, hazy oneshot, for a lazy, hazy day.


**Disclaimer:**Numb3rs isn't mine.

**Author's Note: **Man, was it hot today. And I barely slept last night. This is what happens when a cuckoo person such as me gets writing even though she is sleep deprived. Seven more letters to go.

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**H is for ****Hell and Heaven**

_"Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate"_

_«Abandon all hope, ye who enter here»_

Charlie sluggishly made his way down the stairs. It was a day out of Dante's Inferno in L.A and if it wasn't for the fact that his sometimes overtly rational and logical mind kept on reminding him that water was a limited resource and that there were people dying of thirst all around the world, he would have spent the whole day under the constant stream of cold, blessed water in the shower. Much too hot and bothered to even consider working, especially not in the garage which was its own level of hell, Charlie instead wanted nothing more than to grab any liquid that could freeze his insides and then hopefully, siesta the day away.

Halfway to the kitchen, Charlie paused and started walking backwards. Having retreated enough, he turned to face the lump of a man, otherwise known as Don Eppes on better days, collapsed on the couch. Hands on his hips in bewilderment, the house-owner simply observed his brother who was stretched out on the comfy sofa; shoes and socks off, formal shirt unbuttoned to reveal the simple white t-shirt beneath and hand covering his eyes, there was no indication that Don was of the conscious world. Just as Charlie had raised his foot and was about to poke his brother in the leg with his toe to see whether he was awake or not, Don spoke.

"Don't exert yourself, bro, I'm awake." Raising his hand far enough to reveal one open eyelid, Don grinned lazily at his brother.

"You're doing a pretty good job of looking asleep," commented Charlie.

"It's a gift," retorted Don, "rivalled only by my ability to look awake when I'm actually asleep."

"Where have you been all week?" Charlie asked. "Haven't seen you in ages"

"I'll give you one guess, math boy."

Charlie snorted, "Sorry, stupid question. Work, of course"

"And we have a winner!" Don attempted game show host enthusiasm but couldn't work up the energy. "Caught one case after the other all week long. They weren't consultant worthy, and we solved them all, but still… Was barely in bed 2 hours before I got another call last night. Got done with it and the paperwork about an hour ago and the Assistant Director took pity on us and gave us the rest of the day off." Don's explanation was interrupted by a large yawn. "The apartment was too far away so I decided to collapse here."

Charlie nodded, even though his brother had his eyes covered. "Why don't you just go up to your old bedroom now and sleep there?"

"Simple. If I sleep now, I'll be up the whole night. So I thought I'd tough out till at least the sun sets and then have a nice, long sleep." Don drawled out the last few words as though it would make sunset come sooner. "So, here I am: not sleeping."

Charlie snorted in derision, "Sure bro."

"What? I _am_ awake. Heard you coming downstairs, didn't I?" Don reconsidered this. "But then again, I'm not sure if that argument flies; you make enough noise to wake the dead…"

"Do not!" protested Charlie.

"Do too!" Don punctuated the childishness of it all with another cheeky grin that left Charlie shaking his head in affection at his brother's immaturity; nothing like a hot day on top of a tiring week to turn Don into a carefree, light-hearted brother.

"Hey, you want something to drink?" Charlie asked suddenly.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Certainly not beer for you, bro, you're already a bit woozy. Hang tight, I'll be back in a sec," and smacking his brother on the leg, Charlie turned and made his way to the destination he had been moving towards before the distraction embodied by his big brother.

To Don, Charlie seemed to have moved at warp speed because it was only a second later, it seemed, that Don jerked awake at the feel of something extremely cold resting on his cheek. Removing his hand form his eyes, he looked up to see his baby brother looming over him with a tall glass in each hand, already covered with water droplets due to condensation.

"Awake, Sleeping Beauty!" grinned Charlie.

"Wasn't asleep," Don mumbled but without any conviction. Accepting the offered glass, Don cautiously took a sip of whatever his brother had concocted, before closing his eyes in appreciation:

"Man, heaven in the shape of cold coffee. Not bad, Chuck."

Charlie took a seat at the tail end of the sofa, so that he could remain in Don's sight, and took a sip of his own cold coffee. "Don't call me Chuck, or else no seconds."

"Whatever you say, bro," The cold coffee was too good to ruin it over a nickname. There would be plenty of opportunity to use it to his heart's content later anyhow. Don looked up from his coffee and before he could help himself, he said:

"Why are you sitting so far away, buddy? I promise; I don't bite."

Charlie smiled a bit shyly but silently got up and sat down on the floor with his back to the sofa, his head in line with his brother's waist. Not being able to resist the temptation, he reached out a hand and patted his brother on the head, saying:

"Good doggie"

Don swatted his brother's hand away and poked him in the back of the head with a finger.

"Shut up," Don grumbled but he couldn't help smiling.

Both brothers sat in silence for a few minutes, each quietly sipping their drink. Feeling a bit rejuvenated at the combination of a cold drink with the hit of caffeine, Don commented:

"Any chance of you being able to predict when the next time L.A is going to turn into a furnace for a few days so I can book a plane bound to Alaska in advance?"

"Only if I get to come with; I can't even think properly in this weather"

Don chuckled, "Well, will wonders never cease. Would have thought it impossible to stop your head from ticking properly."

"And I thought it was impossible to have you take a day off from work. Looks like we're even, bro," Charlie retorted.

"Hey, even FBI agents can't face off against a day from hell."

Charlie didn't reply to this and the brothers lapsed into a comfortable silence which was broken by Charlie a few minutes later:

"Hey Don, remember Dante's Divine Comedy?"

Don quirked an eyebrow at this seemingly out-of-nowhere question but as experience had taught him that when it came to Charlie, jumping on for a sometimes long and convoluted ride was always worth it in the end, he humoured his brother:

"Yeah, what about it?"

"According to Dante, Heaven, or _Paradiso_, consists of nine concentric spheres. The more you move up the levels, the closer to God you are." Charlie paused. "The second sphere is for those who did good things for fame, the third for those who did it out of love, and the fourth, for the souls of the wise. But the sixth sphere, higher than all these, is reserved for those who personified justice."

It took Don a moment to register what his brother was saying, but when he did, he was suddenly filled with a rush of affection unlike any he had felt before towards his brother in recent times.

Draining his glass of the last of the cold coffee, he replied:

"Well, if both of us make it to heaven, looks like we're going to be room-mates, buddy."

_"__Nel__suo__profondo__vidi__che__s'interna__, legato con amore in __un__ volume,_

_Cio__che__ per __l'universo__si__squaderna__"_

_«__I saw within __Its__ depth how It conceives all things in a single volume bound by Love,_

_Of which the universe is the scattered leaves__»_

**Khatum (The End)**

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This fic certainly didn't turn out as planned. Dante came out of nowhere. The first quote is what is inscribed on the gates of hell, and the last quote is from Paradiso.

Random fic, right? Let me know what you think. And thank you, one and all, for the lovely reviews for the previous fics. Makes a girl feel loved. Now off to beddy-bye for me.


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